found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I just sucked dick on a ferry
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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