I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
