Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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