Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
