Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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