I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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