I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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