singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
