Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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