I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
