Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
