How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize