Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Randomize
