Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
