The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
