White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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