What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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