Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
