She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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