DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
