I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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