I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
