I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize