my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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