in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
