oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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