u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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