Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
