I seem to have left my pride at pride
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
