dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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