is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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