i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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