Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
