So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
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