Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
