The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
