were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
