Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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