You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
