Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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