If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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