i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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