God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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