I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
