My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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