I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
