I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
