It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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