She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize