Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
