He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
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