you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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