When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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