He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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