Pants 0. Shit 1.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
