I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I think I am morally bankrupt
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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