it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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