I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The uberlube is also flammable
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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