You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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