i was born a porn star she said
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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